Wednesday 29 April 2009

Brand New "The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me"


The winter chill caresses my face like the touch of a thousand sirens, begging me not to beget my regret and become another remorseful dreamer. Lies are the downfall of any human relationship, no exceptions. What has been said can’t be taken again, nor twisted into a more mutually acceptable knot. The knot is untied and so am I and nothing can tie it back.

Walking is as honest as it gets and I have paced hundreds of midnight miles around the kitchen floor, wearing an oblong and discolored racetrack into the linoleum. If she does know she doesn’t say but tosses and turns every night, and mutters into her pillow. The embers are dead and the house is freezing, a silent and cold ghost echoing with fond nostalgia.

The demons of youth whisper with a once convincing fervor but can be dismissed now by the hand of experience and age. What was considered previously is now foolish but is still looked upon with tender remembrance and a longing for a return to naivety. The longing feels wrong but can’t be denied, instinct is not worth fighting and will always trump rational thought.

I can only consider how far it would have gone if I weren’t found out, how far I would have gone without feeling the sting of consequence. Too many sleepless nights have passed in consideration and acceptance is the only possible solution. Atonement is easy, forgiveness is harder but they are simply the price of the impossibility of permission.

Nothing is learnt by not making mistakes and pain only makes it easier the second time round. Beauty supreme, yeah you were right about me.

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